Freedom Life Journal - A life coach's journey!

How Writing "Rights" us…

2008-11-12T11:44:00.011-06:00

I’ve just started another book… “The Right to Write – an Invitation and Initiation into the Writing Life”, by Julia Cameron and this one is very important for me because I have found the personal value, benefit and beauty of putting on paper (i.e. journals, articles, blogs, etc.) for the mere expressing of what is inside of me and in which needs to come out in the various forms – usually in ways of going deeper than the surface of things, like: Venting - when I’m not seeing clearly due to something pressuring me or getting in the way of what I need to see/experience/understand; Brainstorming – when I need ideas; Meditation – writing to quite the multiple thoughts in my head (just for starters); which all feel to me like multiple forms of Prayer – purposed times I need to get more focused on the spiritual truths revealed within my heart/the God-space within.

So, I’m going to take this moment to share a few items that have inspired me thus far and that may do the same for you too, even for some of you who think that writing isn’t for you! Enjoy…

“Why should we write? …We should write because it is human nature to write. Writing claims our world. It makes it directly and specifically our own. We should write because human beings are spiritual beings and writing is a powerful form of prayer and meditation, connecting us both to our own insights and to a higher and deeper level of inner guidance.
We should write because writing brings us clarity and passion to the act of living. Writing is sensual, experiential, grounding. We should write because writing is good for the soul. We should write because writing yields us a body of work, a felt path through the world we live in.
We should write, above all, because we are writers, whether we call ourselves that or not.” ~ back cover of The Right to Write, by Julia Cameron

Julia goes on to share passionately the bigger picture of writing, to make sure that understand foundationally that most of us have been taught in school the subject of writing (as what writers do) and she argues the point that maybe we may have been “taught wrong” or at least we’ve not been taught the wholeness of it – leaving out so much of what it really can be and is for us as humans. I can certainly relate, because English Lit and English in general weren’t my strongest subjects in High School or College, in fact I felt as if I weren’t very good at it at all… until I began to be invited into journaling by my coach Jim Spivey a few years ago and then through a friend’s recommended to read The Artist Way, also by Julia Cameron, as more of a place to share and find my inner thoughts, not in checking off boxes to fulfill my “assignment” to do so. I remember the first time I shared with Jim my journaling efforts and it felt just like I was reporting to the English teacher (my performance mode). That’s when he began to open my awareness through his own experience of writing. It went something like this (in my own words): “I don’t write for others, I write for myself. Writing keeps me present in being who I say I am and for the life-work that I have been called to by God”. Hum, and as I write that I realize that is now, not only his thoughts, but my mantra of sorts, at least I’m coming clearer on that while doing it for a few years now (sporadically and mostly kept personal). Now, I’m feeling in my heart that all that’s about to change – as I throw myself into the good and God experience of it. Boy, it sure does feel good!

Ok, here’s something that bubbled up just after reading on pg. 14, about the “if-I-had-time” lie that gets in the way of writing. She stated that “Sentences can happen in a moment. Enough stolen moments, enough stolen sentences, and a novel is born – without the luxury of time”, which came as a response to the many myths she exposes such as, “All that stands between me and the greatest American novel is a year off”, which leaves many with the thoughts of “I don’t have time to ‘really’ write do I?” Maybe we can…

“LOVING - is an invitation straight from the source of who we are and who’s we are – and when we are aware of the full implication of that, the struggle to do it is dissolved because we just let the source flow through us as we are being that which we already are.” ~ By little ole Dave, in a moment of writing

Well, that should do it for this entry… for now. I’m also practicing shorter writings – that some well be certainly glad about (hehe)!

I invite any of you to check out Jim’s blogs. For years, he has written on a daily basis, and I’m sure he’d say that the benefits for us (the readers) are just a bonus for what it has done for him. Thank you Jim for your persistence and courage! http://www.revolutionconsulting.com/blogger.htm, please email him at jspivey@revolutionconsulting.com to be added to his direct emails send outs!

~ Dave E. Anderson, writing for its own GOoD experience!
http://www.freedomlifeconsulting.com/

To buy this book

Getting to the other side (Pt. 2) – my changing observations!

2008-11-10T16:00:00.003-06:00

Wow, I’d love to share how things have changed after a bit of healthy ranting and purging out the crap that IS there (like it or not) and getting to the other side to see more of the “whole truth” vs. the lopsided one I began writing from on last Monday (3:45 PM).

After sending out, “Dave’s getting to the other side”, I still felt a bit negatively-focused on the situations at hand, which also served to open up my eyes to what I still was yet to see from a heart-focus real Me vs. the fear-focused head/egoic me (and what a interesting paradox we all are). Ultimately part of the reason I wrote that, was to purposely give myself permission to feel what I was feeling and share it openly – a raw living moment.

And now I’ll share some cool stuff that showed up almost immediately after writing. Monday, one hour later, we went out to the mailbox to find a notice telling us that our food stamp card (yes, we have a food stamp card which is not easy to admit – practicing open and honesty) had been unexpected money credited to us due to some Hurricane relief efforts (Bam, we had food money). Then later that night Michelle’s mom offered to give us some gas money for our cars (Bam, now we had gas money). Then a voice mail came in from a dear friend Rhonda, with http://www.revitalizenetworking.com/ offering her services (a bartering blessing) in assisting me on calling and getting more companies for our life-work, followed by a great phone conversation with her that left me very inspired about all the possibilities (Bam, this is huge -you rock Rhonda!). Then at 10 AM on Tuesday, as I was walking into the Love Machine (L.M.), I got a voice message saying that my check that wasn’t supposed to be here until Friday was ready for pick up (Bam, money inflow). Then during L.M., I was really gifted inwardly with a dose of loving and honest conversations that brought even more clarity to my situation - an invitation to become more aware of what was going on – within this choice I/we made “to follow God/the path/this calling” and here’s one rich insight came of it:

My following was to “serve as an example of pushing through to the other side in the midst of the difficulties in life for the connection to God for all the needed Love, joy and peace – and even being able to say ‘thank God for the difficulty’ as a means of getting there.” That’s what people really need…to openly experience with their fellow sojourners – the whole and fully honest journey that is on all sides of their getting what is to be gotten for that moment in life – like with the onion – the layers ARE the onion, not something to be removed in order to get to something else…Now there’s a lesson in enjoying the entire journey (the layers), not just the destination (the core: no-thing).

Then, just to add few more to my gratefulness list, a friend, Ann Perle, connected me with Patt Cottingham, who has created http://www.creditheart.com/ : “Concrete advice, support, and encouragement from fellow travelers who have journeyed through financially rocky times and lived to tell the tale” - a resource for people like me! Wow… it’s amazing to consider all the loving emails, calls of support and conversations – even a gracious “accountability” conversation with a contributor to our lifework. What struck me so beautifully was how God just worked some things out – and that it had nothing to do with someone reading and responding to the email… and when that happens I just sat in awe of the reality that God was/is already at work in ways that we certainly aren’t aware of. Duh!

So, to wrap this up almost a week later (it’s taken a multiple sitting to finish this), I am left with: a growing awareness of God’s unconditional love and humor for me/us; the abundance of all that I need; a greater appreciation for all the many sacred invitations, so lovingly presented, in order to get the lessons that are concealed within every so-called “problem”; and the paradox of my human and spiritual self – the great reminder to give less attention to the ego-thoughts and become more fully present to the heart – where an authentic life is truly lived.

Practicing living and loving from the heart…

~ Dave E. Anderson
http://www.FreedomLifeConsulting.com

Getting to the other side…(Pt. 1)

2008-11-03T15:49:00.003-06:00

Hello friends… I’m writing because I know I need to…so that I get past my head and into my heart in all of what I’m facing. I believe that if you knew what I was feeling you’d ask me to share it…and because you don’t, I’m just going ahead and doing that for you – for my heart’s sake and for the sake of expressing it before I blow up with it inside of me.

If I could ask for this one thing: Please hear me with your heart as I vent (the stuff of my head) to get to the other side…and thank you in advance for helping me love myself. I’m NOT looking for a handout – I just need to vent so that it won’t feel damn lonely inside. Thank you for listening… and being with me!

Progressively, these last two weeks of the month (as well as most months) has been the toughest for us… There’s been hardly any money flowing in, I don’t get my monthly contribution till the last day of this week (first Friday following the 1st), we are just about empty in the gas tanks, a little ground meat, some pasta and sauce, a few bananas and a box of cereal and some yogurt is just about all we have left to eat. We WILL make it through this lean time…so be assured we won’t starve. It’s just that my son doesn’t understand why I have to constantly say (when he asks for the normal snacks), “I’m sorry – we don’t have any of that right now Caeden” and Dash is too young to know how to ask. When all that happens the trusting and God-centered state of “we are gonna get through this” feels like it flies out the window because the kids are hungry for their favorite snacks and they don’t understand why we can’t go buy more yet, (one of the smaller financial issues we face).

This past week Michelle said she would go find some work… but that isn’t possible with our choice of parenting. Then she mentioned that “it would be nice if we just had at least one more client-company” around the size we have now, so that we aren’t so strapped and broke half of the month. She’s right…but who do I call on? Which triggers my own frustrations with and resistance to making the calls for that to happen. Even my individual clients(who are really FRIENDS) seem to be all out of money too…so getting paid for showing up when they are in need of us, is not guaranteed either (which is an agreement we have mutually agreed upon). So, All of this really doesn’t make sense to us (in the head)… so we just carry on and trust that God’s working it all out…and it always does happen somehow.

Saturday while in Whole Foods (to get free samples to eat for their “taste of the holidays”) in lieu of the snacks we didn’t have, I noticed one of their shopping bags that said something like: “The Path is what we’ve chosen…” and it struck me with a shot of perspective…that we have “chosen” to do our life’s work, even if it doesn’t provide consistent payments, insurance, or any guarantees at all (at least the way we think we need them) … in lieu of trusting God to provide surrendering to his invitation to trust that “it will all work out” (which is a state that we seem to forget often these days). So, in writing this all… I’m asking for what I really need - to be reminded that God’s ways are not our own and that He has it all worked out – and usually just in time. Missing THAT is to miss the whole point.

The two extreme opposites that I sit here with is interestingly beautiful: on one hand I’m freaking out and the other is that “I get it” and feel very trusting that everything is as it is supposed to be – Perfect, in a spiritual sense. Grabbing a hold of the one that matters most (in my heart) and putting the head/ego in its proper perspective is my work to do…but then there’s this thought of just going out and getting a regular job (fear talking) to guarantee something so that I don’t have to trust God for the “daily manna” will (should) be there in the morning.(Hum…I’m a mess at times aren’t I?)

Recently I was inspired to play around with some words and their meanings and came up with this one: MIRROR. A word used often in my conversations and those around me. And the truth behind this is really needed in the moment…

M y
I nner
R eflective
R eminder
O ffering
R ealignment
….Realignment to God, the Truth, Life, the journey, understanding, surrender, etc…

So, there you go…

I’ve vented and feel better now… thank you for your love and holding us in your heart as we continue on in the journey.

And a reminder for you…Fixing it isn’t the answer (nor could you), SO… could we just have a sacred moment together to mutually be reminded and feel whatever we are feeling so that we get to the other side of it? I’ve found that after the rusty pipes get flushed out – there’s plenty of fresh water in unlimited supply (abundance) on the other side… (feeling it now) which makes the venting or flushing a process in remembering and being refreshed with all that is needed – unconditional Love in the moment, God’s way to expand our perspective (and acceptance) of it all.

So, what is on the other side of this? Well, 1) Michelle has a couple of new clients that she loves working with and so do I. 2) We feel like there will be another client-company to work with in the near future or just enough individual ones that will allow us to continue the work He’s called us to. 3) The opportunity of the moment by moment experiences where we learn to surrender to God, who gives us a clearer appreciation of the gift and beauty of “not knowing” in light of the “already Knowingness” of God, which is perfectly fitting (thou challenging) for the work we are doing. 4) Life as an Adventure: We feel that our calling is not ordinary, nor is the path we are to walk in living it, even when some of the time we think we have strayed from the path altogether, simply because we’ve never walked this before. And one more… 5) A deep sense of gratitude for all the wonderful people we get to love on and who love on us simultaneously – as we all grow into being who we really are! The double Mirror!

I wish you well as to how you will take all of this in… I can’t get all worried about that – I’ll just trust God that you and we will find our own way (however it looks) and become more aware of how to surrender and trust that God is in all of it…taking us to a greater understanding and acceptance along the path.

PS… Jim, your message a few days ago is really being felt, of how Jesus sent out the workers to do the work of loving people without knowing how they would be cared for – and in doing so, was always taken care of. Thank you for following God, as well as offering some guidance (as you get it yourself) along the way in this journey – I feel your heart and your own journey too!

Living and loving Life and others…OUT LOUD and on purpose!

~ Dave E. Anderson
http://www.FreedomLifeConsulting.com

Pilgrimage Ride Report – Two AMAZING rides of my life! (1 of 2)

2006-07-07T17:55:00.000-05:00

“To really live from the heart, one needs to take a journey to new places to unplug and explore, separate from family and familiars, in order to be open to new influences, to bold growth, and dramatic change.” ~ Dave E. Anderson, (a modified Katherine Butler Hathaway quote)

I recently returned from two amazing rides (Pilgrimage Rides) and would love to tell you about them. I’ll start by telling you about the first one, and in a follow-up email tell you about the second. If you don’t ride... hang in there because this is more than JUST a ride-report... these have been two experiences that have produced needed change in my life. PLUS, you will also get the detailed story of the crash... that totaled my bike (sad to say), in the follow-up email.

Ride #1: DEAL’S GAP (a.k.a. “The Tail of the Dragon”) in North Carolina. (The Inaugural Ride)Saturday, May 13, 2006, we pulled out of N. Houston, for a 7-day, 2,740-mile journey. Enthusiastically, three men on three BMW bikes (two on the K1200S and my K1200GT), headed out for North Carolina to ride “the Dragon”. This is the “Mecca” for motorcyclist. Why? Because of the 318 curves in an 11-mile stretch of road... plus a plethora of other roads uniquely incredible. Yeah baby! The first day we made it to Birmingham, AL, 687 miles of interstate (not the fun part), but we were on “a pilgrimage”, so we paid the price of sore buns. Of course we had to take the necessary “tourist” pictures by all the state lines: LA, MS & AL. Traveling four states on the first day felt really good. The second day we headed out for a 320-mile day through Atlanta and into twisty roads of Suches, GA, home of the T.W.O. (Two Wheels Only) Campground and Wolf Pen Gap road, on our way up to NC. Suches was the beginning of where you really had to pay attention to the extreme technical twisties in varying inclines, which demanded our 100% focus. Even though I had ridden the area before and they had track experience, we all had to polish-up our skills with the intensity these roads offered. These weren’t the normal “Texas twisties” we were used to. We stopped for a picture at T.W.O. and you should have seen the WOW factor in our eyes... we were in Motorcycle-Heaven! That night we completed the 1,007-mile trek, arriving at the Tapoco Lodge, NC, where we stayed in a remote cottage overlooking the Cheoah River. After a relaxing massage from Teresa, the local therapist, we soaked in the chilled moist air of the mountains. With no TV or phones in the rooms, it was quiet, except for the smoothing sound of the river below. Ah, this was truly unplugging in style. Our cottage was nestled in a rainforest-like setting, complete with a path, overflowing with foliage that led down to the main lodge, where we enjoyed breakfast each morning. Over the next 4 days, we road “The Dragon”, Cherohala Skyway, Blue Ridge Parkway, Foothills Parkway, and more back roads of the Smoky Mountains. Our journey took us through riding in the heat, cold, rain, and even sleet (with temps below freezing). We hiked to waterfalls; walked along the river; herd local ghost stories; road the Dragon at night; and experienced the amazing adventure of life in so many spontaneous ways. On the sixth and seventh days, we made our way back through Memphis, taking in the BBQ Festival and staying at Elvis’ Heart Break Hotel (a surprise detour), then on through Arkansas into Texas, for a total of Seven States. We took in and experienced so much beauty in our surroundings; in ourselves; in our conversations; and in the quiet times we took alone with God. It was like we, and God-who created it all, was intimately connecting to our hearts deeper than ever. It WAS a ride of our lives. So, thank you B.W., B.R., and R.H. (one more who joined us from Atlanta) for the ride together.

While this inaugural ride was a truly amazing trip to the best roads and sceneries in the USA, it also had a few very rough moments mixed in. And it’s only after a lot of deep soul searching and introspection of the experiences, conversations and feelings we had before, during and after the trip, that I’m able to write about it... almost 2 months later. Before now... It just didn’t make much sense. Trust me... It’s making more sense now, because I’m committed to being a learner from my entire journey in life, however ugly it can look at times. I’ll explain. This particular pilgrimage ride was set up to be “a spiritual journey... to become better men, husbands, fathers, sons, brothers and friends, while asking God to show us how to remove that which was not in our best interest as men.” This meant that I would lead the group with that intention from the beginning, which is by the way, one of the primary objectives of the “Pilgrimage Ride” experience. But that’s where things seemed to fall apart and my greatest lessons were realized. This was the first trip to guide others on... so I had to put together “the agenda” for the experience. That was my first mistake. I went to an ego place of, “I know what they need,” and began to work my agenda, which was met with much resistance, followed by more of my own resistance to stop, lay down the agenda and listen to their hearts and God’s “ultimate knowing” of what we all needed. Yep, I just plainly forgot that HE INVITED ALL OF US into His beauty to learn... not just them. So basically, in my attempt to create the spiritual experience of a lifetime, my ego (not my heart) showed up and created a disruptive connection within the group. It was like the proverbial “elephant in the room”, or in this case... the elephant on my front fender... blocking where we needed to go; ruining the steering ability; and creating all kinds of tension and unbalance. Yep, being out of integrity, even so slightly, is a huge thing to ride around with... yet so freeing as I’m learning to stop the bike (my life) and properly deal with the root problem that’s within myself... versus blaming someone else for it. Now that feels really good to own... which is impossible for me to do until I surrender it over to God and let it all go... anger, blame, guilt and even trying to fix it. I’m learning to trust, surrender, love and forgive others and myself through this whole experience. I believe this was still designed for each of us to learn from it in our own way... and so I trust Him to work it out in His timing and in the way He chooses to in the end. I have learned a very costly lesson about myself that will stick with me for the rest of my life. The place He has called me to work, involves the precious hearts of people, and it is a sacred work, and I’m committed to doing it with His ability, which is far better that the best of my ability... as I’m so clearly learning.

Two days later, just to see if I was listening and taking notes from the lessons of the first ride, I left for a second Pilgrimage Ride with three other men, that’s incredible in it’s own way... and I can’t wait to tell you about it. Ok, here’s a small taste. It involves multiple crashes and my own bike being totaled in the end. So, stay tuned for part two of these back-to-back real life adventures...

Living and Loving Life and Others... OUT LOUD!

Dave E. Anderson, Humbled Guide

www.PilgrimageRide.com “A Motorcycle Journey of the Heart & Soul”
...A Freedom Life Consulting motorcycle experience!

"Showing Up..." (Out of Hiding)

2006-06-23T01:54:00.000-05:00

This one is looooong. But if you wonder: 1. Where I’ve been..., and 2. How my bike got totaled... you’ll want to read the whole thing. Thank you for understanding.

Sometimes I go into hiding... because I’m afraid, embarrassed, ashamed or I just don’t think what I have to say is all that important. That’s where I’ve been for a while, but today, I’m showing up and being MYSELF in the midst of a lot of “stuff” that I’ve allowed to distract me from telling all of my story. Even with my wife and so many friends asking me to tell others about my journey, I’ve been stalling. Why? I think because there are parts that are amazing (and exciting to tell) and some feel like failures (which I often attach shame to), and I’m struggling (but learning) how to “show up” fully in the midst of both... so that I learn from both... and celebrate both. Deep down inside, I know THAT is the place God has me - a place of surrender... and where trust, character and faith are being forged.

Over the last few months I’ve had some dreams that have been rather disturbing. I share this one with you because it has helped me learn some things about myself and the bad places I go in my mind at times. Here’s the one from Wednesday, June 7, 2006:

It was an enclosed (almost dungeon-like) container that a woman and I were brought into by a man we didn’t know. There were two bodies lying on the floor wrapped up like mummies. They seemed lifeless, yet I knew they were still alive, though very weak and helpless. Their bodies also seemed as if they were rotting there in their wrappings. The man who took us into the container said that we didn’t want to get into the wet spot around them, because that was where they had relieved themselves and it had soaked through and onto the floor all around them. At that moment I could smell the awful smell of urine and waste. It turned my stomach. I seemed to feel like I was in trouble or being punished to be here in this place. I also felt as if I was just visiting the place to see it for some reason. The container was hot and stuffy, and seemed to be totally enclosed with wooden slats and old rags in the joints, but you could still see small rays of light through the cracks. At the same time, it also seemed like I could walk outside to a green grassy wooded area that was just off one side of the dungeon-like container. I liked it better in the wooded area... and wanted to stay there. From the wooded area, I could see Michelle and Caeden (my wife and son) on the 2nd floor of a very nice air-conditioned building, playing on a bed. It was white, clean and comfortable – totally opposite from the container. She couldn’t see me, or at least hadn’t noticed me, so I thought I’d whistle to get her attention. But I felt that by doing so, I’d be in trouble so I didn’t whistle. I also thought that I could call her from here (like a call home from a hotel room), so that made it seem not so bad being here... as long as I could call her. Then the man started wrapping up the girl that had came in with me. She didn’t like that at all and squirmed hard. She was almost wrapped up when she kicked so hard that she loosened the wraps a little from her legs. Before this time, I didn’t realize I would be next to be wrapped up. Then it hit me, this meant that I couldn’t be in the nice wooded area, or see my wife and son, or call them, and that I would be wrapped up in this hot container, with no fresh air on my face, sweating and in my own human waste. It was a gross thought and I panicked and started yelling, “No – don’t wrap me up! Please! Please! Don’t wrap me up!” At the same time, the girl was still squirming and yelled to the man, “I’ll change! I’ll change!”, as if that would keep her from being wrapped up and allow for her freedom. Then he held her firmly and said with a deep and serious tone, “We have a motto down here... CHANGE DOESN’T EXIST!” Then I woke up.

As I told Michelle the morbid dream, she asked what I thought it meant. I remember the feelings that were going on in me as I told her about the dream: All I thought was, “Would she have to look at me through the 2nd story window, in her cool and comfortable place and watch me suffer in the container, laying there in all my crap and waste, trapped and unable to talk to her or be released? That would be miserable for her, not being able to do anything about it and freaking out to do all she could to have me released and cleaned up.” As I wrote this in my journal that morning, I asked God to show me what this dream meant and what I needed to learn. This is what I got:

When I believe that I am not able to change, I am held captive and wrapped up in my ugly state of helplessness and crap... not being able to live fully and barely live at all, in the most foul smelling containment of torture possible. And by my belief in that lie... I am actually the one leading myself into the dungeon... wrapping myself up with wraps that really don’t exist themselves—except for the fact that I think they do. My lies (illusions) actually takes life away from myself and others, and the sad thing about it, is that I hold the power to change and free myself by believing the truth that I can change. Everything can change—and I don’t have to be wrapped up and left to die in my own crap. That’s not what I was meant for... yet so many times I allow the lies to be lived out as if they were true. I believe that life is all about personal change... freedom... love... possibility... hope... newness... joy... peace... and everything is possible and actually waiting for me to just receive it. Yes... JUST RECEIVE IT. I have to recognize the lie--as a lie. Believe only what is true. Daily live completely free... free from bondage and free to really live the life I was meant to live. So, I choose to live my dreams... not in a nightmare in an existence held tight to a dungeon of lies.

I have found that by identifying and exposing the lies with someone who loves and supports me, is a great way to deal with them. I’ll share some of my personal ones so that you can see what lies torment me and constantly try to keep me hidden, so that I don’t “show up” for myself, family or anyone else. As I tell you these, I acknowledge that they are lies, while admitting that they often feel very REAL. This is my struggle. Maybe by sharing some of mine, you can identify some of your own... so that we, as a community growing together, can walk our journeys released to live life to the full... a life of abundance.

My lies...

“God is failing you. You chose to follow him in this life calling and it’s not working out. This is just a nasty trick He’s been playing on you.”

“You’ve gotten yourself too deep... and bankruptcy is the only way out... then you still won’t have enough to pay for necessities.”

“If you tell people where you are financially and your debt level, people will judge you as a failure, which you really are.”

“You are not a good life coach, don’t know how to market it and it shows by the lack of clients you get and that stay with you.”

“You can’t provide for your family and it will cause you to loose everything, including your home.”

“You need to go get a job...cause life coaching isn’t paying off.”

“You aren’t enough in what you do... so go do something else that you can do.”

“You will have to sell even more stuff to try to keep the bills paid... and it still won’t be enough.”

“All the stuff breaking recently, like: garage door; car’s water pump; shifter knob (held in place by rubber bands); Durango’s Cruise control; A/C duct work needed; bad siding; and Tires going bald... with no money in site to repair them, is all a sign that it’s getting worse, and you are getting even further behind.”

“Your credit cards will all be maxed out in less than a month and you will have to go the way of bankruptcy.”

“You will not get enough back from the insurance for your bike that was just ‘totaled’, so you won’t be able to get a good replacement one or you will have to use the money to keep your lights on and bills paid... and without a bike you can’t lead rides.”

“You don’t act on the ideas you have... and you never will... therefore give up now.”

Well, you get the idea. We are in debt--way in over our heads. We have lived on credit cards to keep us going while we birthed Freedom Life Consulting, and now 2 years later, we still are not making enough to keep going on like this and doing this as our only income. Therefore we are asking God to show us what He has in mind. If this means we coach people at night and on weekends while we work other jobs, we are willing to do that. Even though that just feels so wrong (in our hearts), so we’ve left this as the last resort. We have hung in there for so long and we are exhausted. We kept thinking that it would pick up and be different, but each month it was more of the same. Michelle has recently taken on a new business (from our home) with her mom that involves finding notes that people need to sell and matching them with investors who will purchase them at a discount rate. She would get a commission on the deal. To top things off, during the second Pilgrimage Ride, while on the way home from the hill country, my motorcycle was totaled in an accident, after a car pulled out in front of me at about 35 mph. Thank God I walked away from the accident, which is a miracle in itself. That was 4 weeks ago, and I don’t know what the results will be on the settlement. When I get alone with God... I hear him saying to me that “All is well”. My coach, Jim Spivey says the same... calling this a “Sacred place” we are in, and for a greater reason than we can see at the moment (which by the way--feels true), yet we haven’t gotten a clear word from God what we are to do... so it just feels like we are in limbo.

So, there you have it. I’ve showed up. Told the truth... and waiting expectantly to discover our next steps. Please pray for us. You are welcome to share anything you may feel you are supposed to share with us. But please, don’t feel sorry for us. We know that we will not always be in this place... and that when we are on the other side of this... it will all make sense and we will completely get the amazing messages within this whole journey. Until then... we will remain faithful to our calling and surrendered to whatever He has in store for us.

PS. This reminds me of a verse from the Bible that says:
“You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought. You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat. You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for. You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.” Matthew 5:3-8, the Message Bible

God, I’m listening, surrendered and becoming more and more aware of the sacredness of this journey and the intimacy we share. Thank you for your nearness on this journey... and the path you have led me (us) on. I rest in you alone. ~ Amen

I love you all! ~ Dave E. Anderson, Motorcycle Life Coach

PS... stay tuned to future blogs about two amazing Pilgrimage Rides I took to North Carolina (through 7 states) and to the Hill Country of Texas.

www.FreedomLifeConsulting.com
www.PilgrimageRide.com

The Gift in Being Ourselves

2006-02-23T17:48:00.000-06:00

I am finding it so true these days, especially when I slow down enough to listen, how God is speaking so clearly to me exactly when and what I truly need, using unsuspecting delivery persons and situations to remind me of the constant knowing that he is with me. Wednesday, it happened again...

It came by simply writing down the date in my journal, 2/22/06. This day was significant because it was the day that I was “supposed” to be on our Inaugural Pilgrimage Ride. At least that’s what I thought. The beautiful thing about writing down the date was that the night before, my friend David Ripley, had mentioned that God gave him his “222” while driving... explaining that it was God’s way of winking at him. So, in the moment of my pondering the ride that DIDN’T happen... God gave me a wink too... reminding me that He is with me in this journey.

I called David, just to tell him my experience and thank him for being God’s delivery person... and he said that it’s not very often that we actually hear from someone the impact we have on their lives... and thanked me for sharing. So, that inspired me to think about other people who have been used by God recently... and SO many came to mind. That sparked a thought... “Maybe they don’t know the impact they are making on people... because they haven’t been told... so why not tell them... to give them the gift of my gratitude.” I felt led to do this, so, here I am... giving honor to only a few of the many special people, who have spoken, not just with words, but with being who they are in life. God is speaking... and I’m doing my best to listen!

~ David Ripley... for the “222 story” and helping me realize the importance of appreciating people.
~ Ron Lacy... for reminding me: Peter’s “water walk”, is not about “trying harder”.
~ David McGee... for your continual openness, struggle and surrender to love others and yourself more purely.
~ Pam Ormsby... for the message to “repot” that came from our conversation.
~ Jim Spivey... for calling forth “the song” from within... and seeing the weight of it.
~ David Peck... for “seeing outside the box” conversation.
~ Philip Poindexter... for the gift in being allowed to see your connected journey with God.
~ Darin Hufford... for the power of your belief in me...and your message of God’s amazing Love.
~ Robert Bayman... for helping me seeing various possibilities.
~ Brent Walker... for encouraging me with your own get-away pilgrimage.
~ John Crabb... for the amazing support, ideas, expansive vision you gifted me.
~ Jim Jacobus... for showing me the beauty and impact I am having on others.
~ Paul Smeltzer... for reminding me who I really am... deep below the surface.
~ Veronica James... for the reminding me to let go and fly. Your life speaks to me!
~ Greg Thibodeaux... for team heart and support and for “A Ride of your Life” ideas.
~ Chris & Gail Osborne... for “this wasn’t my idea...it was God’s” comment and all that meant for me.
~ Jan Cramer... for grace and forgiveness in a constant way.
~ Laura O’Neill... for the gift of “Awe” and excitement in your voice as you shared your riding story.
~ Steven Carr... for your encouragement, love and support... in the midst of your own journey and “birthing”.
~ Sheldon Anderson... for your commitment to love yourself and others, as you are being healed.
~ Stefani Twyford... for reminding me that “being” is all that is needed.
~ Carmen Poole... for your willingness to explore and risk to go deeper.
~ Ryn Spiegelhauer... for your beautiful heart beaming through the tragedies surrounded you, as you connect to God.
~ Caeden Anderson (my son)... for teaching me to smile, laugh, and just “be” all the time.
~ Michelle Anderson (my wife)... for your everyday unconditional Love, and for always calling me to be of who I really am.
~ God... You are my all... and to you, I surrender all, and appreciate you for my life, family and friends!

.... just to name a few of the many. Ah... It feels so good to show gratitude...maybe I should make this the norm.

Think about it... the power of just being ourselves... the awareness of the impact we have on others in big ways... in everything we do, say and are, ...in conversations ...not because we are trying to do anything, just because we are being ourselves, showing up fully. I’m seeing that happen all around me... and if it’s happening to me, it must be happening to others too. This gives me an overwhelming peace, leaving me knowing that we don’t set all these up... someone so much bigger than us is at work... perfectly synchronizing each detail ...every conversation ...everything in and around our lives. All I have to do is expect it, watch for it, listen and receive it when it comes. Wow... that’s huge! When I stay aware of this, I relax into knowing God has everything in control and is working it all out and that I can trust him fully. Thank you God – I surrender!

~ Dave E. Anderson, Motorcycle Life Coach

www.FreedomLifeConsulting.com
www.PilgrimageRide.com

The Baby's Stuck!

2006-02-19T23:50:00.000-06:00

"Birth is violent, whether it be the birth of a child or the birth of a new idea. Beginning stages of development are rough. The most giant tree begins life as a tiny green sprout, pushing dirt out of its way as it forces itself up through the earth to the sunlight." ~ Marianne Williamson

The last 2 weeks for me has felt like the birth experience my wife had (of going 15 days PAST the Oct. 3rd due-date), of our first-born son, Caeden. (Guys: hang in there, for the main point)

We had planned for the ideal home birth, with our midwife Cathy Rude, using a birthing tub, her mom present and with our friend Pam video taping the whole thing. We had a vision of our desired birth experience, and resisted all the “not so ideal” stories that others had experienced. Well, to make a long story short... it didn’t happen the way we planned.

On day 12 of being overdue, our midwife felt (because of a bad dream) that we needed to get an ultrasound done, revealing Michelle’s amniotic fluids were dangerously low, which required immediate hydration. On day 13, the fluids were up, leaving us hopeful that all else would go as planned. That morning, her contractions began, but they were not strong enough to cause efficient dilation for labor. We did everything possible and natural to bring labor on...breast pump stimulation, chiropractic labor-adjustments, walking and still nothing. Then on day 14 came the dreaded Castor Oil treatment. While Castor Oil is effective in irritating the uterus for contractions, it’s also MORE effective at irritating the bowels (enough said on that). So, here we are on day 14, and everything is coming out except our son. All kinds of things were going on in our heads, like... “Why is he so late?” “Doesn’t he want to come out?” “Is something wrong?” etc. Our midwife wasn’t happy with our progression or his heart rate during the contractions... so we transported to the hospital, where more of what we didn’t want became necessary.

At 7 A.M. on day 15, they administered pitocin followed by an epidural, and by 6 P.M. Michelle still had only dilated to a 5, of the needed 10. The nurse, midwife and I all decided that we needed to inform Michelle that a C-Section was inevitable. The doctor would pass by in an hour, at 7 P.M., and if she wasn’t ready to deliver he would have no choice but to take him out. We prayed, then Michelle had her own personal time with God, where she felt God ask her if “she was ready to receive him”. She felt she needed to surrender to “the process” of how he came out, because him being out was the most important thing...not the process. She surrendered and was at peace. A few minutes later the doctor came in and checked her... informing us that she was now dilated to a 9, followed by “Are you ready to push?” Push? Yes, it was happening... she was able to push him out (with help from the forceps, because his head was “stuck”, thus the reason she couldn’t deliver on her own). Caeden was born at 8:43 P.M., after 3 days of laboring. (He was 4 months old yesterday!)

So, how do I feel like Michelle in her giving birth to Caeden? Well, March 2004, almost 2 years ago, an idea, dream and experiential journey was conceived, as an extension of us - Freedom Life Consulting. It, the “baby”, was given the names: “The Pilgrimage Ride”, or “A Ride of your Life”. And the due date for our very first (of 6 rides) was scheduled for 2/22/06 (this week), but unfortunately there are no riders signed up, so this ride had to be cancelled. Two years in the planning... emails sent out... calls made... discounts given... and even a total change of it’s price to “give what you feel it was worth”... and still – No Birth! Not only is this first ride important for the birth of this dream... but also our financial pressures and debts are expanding bigger than Michelle’s belly was before Caeden came out.

So, during these last couple of weeks, in my head and emotions, I’ve gone to all kinds of places that haven’t been good. I’ve vented, expressed my frustration, sought understanding, perspective and much needed assistance from my wife, friends, family, life coach and other motorcyclists... like Michelle had the midwifes, nurses, doctors, forceps, pitocin, and epidural to get Caeden birthed... for me, there’s still – No Birth! So, last Thursday, I did what Michelle did on the hospital bed, and surrendered to God and to “the process” of this “baby’s” birth. I laid it all before Him, and do you know what happened? No, not the “baby” yet, but... my head came “un-stuck,” and I’ve begun to stop resisting how these rides will look and moving beyond the box of MY original idea. Of course, God also reminded me that it was “His baby” all along... and that I would only parent it... not control it, and that I wasn’t the one who sets the “due date” and specific look of the “baby”. I’ve become more aware and open to new ways this could be done, and thoughts and ideas are coming together even now, as I write this. Many of your comments have expanded me... so thank you! So, I’m still not sure of how it will look in the end... but I’m certainly open and listening to this whole process and trusting the “baby” will come forth, the way it’s suppose to. You will be hearing more from me soon...

So, all of you out there that want the most out of life and have a dream, idea, plan for your life that is BIGGER THAN YOU... I hope you hear in this message, some of the truths that I’m becoming more and more aware of: 1. Nothing happens by accident. 2. Surrender to the process and the timing. 3. Let go and trust. 4. If you can do it without Him... then it’s smaller than it could be, and 5. You cannot fail... if He is in control.
---------------
By the way, it’s been 2 months since my last email, which is partly why my “head was stuck”. I’m back in the saddle now... surrendered to the journey of who I am and... IT’S GREAT TO BE BACK!

~ Dave E. Anderson, Motorcycle Life Coach
www.FreedomLifeConsulting.com
www.PilgrimageRide.com

“Broke” Down

2005-12-18T20:00:00.000-06:00

Last night at 11:30 PM, the Durango broke down on busy Hwy. 99 (in Houston) - with Michelle, our 8-week-old son Caeden and myself. This vehicle has never broken down... So what the heck? I put it in neutral, worked the gas, but unfortunately it stalled and would not restart. The fuel gauge indicated that I still had 9 miles until empty...so, I couldn’t be out of gas. Here I was stuck in the far right lane of a 3 lane highway, and couldn’t steer it off the road because of the curb that was there. Cars were zooming past us, changing lanes just in time to miss us, but way to close for us to stay here and wait for help. So while Michelle called our friend Gary Rude for help, I lit a flare, put it in the road and pushed the Durango 30-40 yards till Michelle could steer it off the road to a safe place to wait. (Thank you Gary for coming to our rescue) And wouldn’t you know it, it started after putting in some gas... so my “break down” was just me ...running out of gas.

Well, that was the last straw, adding to all the other ways I was running out of gas emotionally and mentally. Ten minutes earlier, when we left from the Rude’s house for our weekly “Wild at Heart Couples” gathering, I asked Michelle what showed up for her emotionally when she was asked about what we were going to give each other for Christmas. Where she and I went to, were two separate places... and mine was an unhealthy and ultimately an untrue place. Of course, there was nothing wrong with their question. What was wrong was that I was building up stuff inside... and so I shared with Michelle what I was feeling... just to defuse it.

Here’s a few things that I was allowing to build up in me (see if you can see the reoccurring theme): 1) Sheldon (my older brother in North Louisiana) asked if we could come to his house for Christmas dinner, but my first response was that I couldn’t afford the gas to make the trip. 2) My neighbors alluded to all the buying that we would be doing at Christmas, with having a first born son... but we really weren’t planning on spending anything special because he doesn’t know the difference this year anyway. But, “would I feel the same way if we had money to spend?” 3) At Toastmasters, this past Friday, I gave a “Wit & Wisdom” speech about – how to give the most valuable gift, that comes straight from the heart, and doesn’t cost a cent, which is a lot of love, hugs and telling family and partner how much they mean to you. But when it came to my family, I somehow thought that was not “enough”, and that I would be short changing them. 4) ....and after the meeting, one of the members asked me to send out another message that would help us to be relaxed during the holidays. Well, here’s at least what “not doing it” looks like. Does this help? 5) I keep getting a call from the A/C people that were scheduled before Caeden’s birth (2 months ago), to add some larger ductwork in one of the bedrooms that we can’t properly regulate in temperature, and I have to give them the ‘ok’ or ‘not now’... cause I don’t have the money (like I did before the birth costs came in).

So, do you get the theme? This is what I told my wife that I was feeling: ...We don’t have money to spend at Christmas this year, I am frustrated about it, I am still struggling with “getting” that it’s really not about the money spent but the heart in which its given. She looked at me and held my hand, and with tears in her eyes, told me, “I don’t care about your spending money on us... we have been given the greatest gift, his name is Caeden. If you want, give us something you have thought deeply on and created using your own passion, art and made by you... something from your heart. It’s easy to go spend money and not have it come from your heart.” Ah yes... thank you sweetheart... I got it – Finally. Then, I ran out of gas... (and in my head I’m thinking about the danger of getting us hit and what it will cost to fix the vehicle).

So, why did you all get an email with me ranting about our financial condition and what I struggle with? For starters... I tossed and turned all night, thinking about writing an email about what I went through last night, which was no “relaxation at Christmas” for me, and because this also seemed to be the reoccurring theme at our couple’s group – “the struggle in sharing our emotions”. And when I opened my inbox this morning (to start my email), my coach had sent the following email out that seemed to explain why I had to write this one. (Note: Our truest intent is that we “share OUR Journey” as it’s being lived out... that’s it! WE have chosen to step out and into our dream and calling as life coaches and have no regrets for doing so. It has been a personally growing, stretching and surrendered adventure all the way, and this is just a part of it.)

Jim’s email, “Radical Honesty”...
"Growth always -- and only -- moves from the inside out in one's life. Honesty with God, honesty with self, honesty with one's partner and children, honesty with family of origin, honesty with chosen family, honesty in the workplace, honesty with friends, even honesty with casual acquaintances --- is one big, giant, wonderful, courageous ripple effect that will change our lives if we’re willing, and just might change the world if enough of us are willing." ~ Thomas Rutledge, author of "Embracing Fear & Finding the Courage to Own and Truly Live Your Life"

“I know that I create it all in my mind — you, myself, and all the stuff that goes with it. For me, the trick is in the choices, and creation that comes with every little notion. Radical honesty is nothing more than a means of helping me to lift the veil of my opinion and judgment …a tool to help me wake up from this bad dream, so that, at last, I can forgive myself, and consequently all others, and love completely. I am the source of all of that is 'in the way' between me and God.” ~ Leo Burmester (Actor in "The Abyss," "The Devil’s Advocate," & "A Perfect World")

“It's time, my friends, especially that one friend in particular out there who knows exactly who I'm talking to, who so many have been watching carefully and painfully, and who has been experiencing the agonizing pain of a growing awakening to and awareness of the above. We are all here, my friend, ready for the miraculous change to come, wanting to live vicariously through you, to be inspired and uplifted by you, as you struggle through crisis, but you, my friend, hold the key to your life's healing and renewal. You seek the illusion of freedom with your mind, but take the key in your hand and use it, and step through the doorway to the only true freedom there is - the freedom of the truth.

Please be our hero, because we need surrendered heroes (vs. perfect people) among us so badly, to fuel hope in our own lives, and to be a hero you must have created, inflicted, and withstood crisis of just this magnitude, so you are perfectly prepared and staged for the role.” ~ Jim Spivey, Revolution Consulting

Well... I’m not sure if Jim was calling me out (or someone else), and while I wouldn’t call myself a “hero” yet, ...it sure felt like the scene in the Matrix, when Mr. Anderson, “Neo” woke up and noticed a message to him on his computer screen. I am definitely walking through my own extremely RAW experiences openly. And my hope is that all of you know that you are not alone (in whatever you struggle with) and that you don’t have to wear the masks that cover up what is going on inside your heart, like I did, and do so often. Most of the “stuff” that shows up in my journey (after careful consideration, prayer and surrendering it to God - “the Truth”) is actually only “an illusion” that I’ve created by my own fears, which I’m identifying and prying off daily. When I “Get it out”... on paper, in prayer or with my wife or others who love me... I (and you) create a safe place to heal and connect to God, for everyone.

So... this Christmas, be the gift of truth, love, support, healing and a safe place to your loved ones. It really is the gift that doesn’t cost a cent... even though it will cost you everything - because it takes complete surrender to go deep inside your heart, find what is True and give IT away! Hmm... sounds like something someone else has done for us as well... in the “whole” love story of Jesus, who came as a baby.

Merry Christmas...

Dave E. Anderson, Life Coach
www.FreedomLifeConsulting.com

HOW LOVE SET ME FREE - My Personal Story

2005-12-07T23:27:00.002-06:00

“LOVE sees through and destroys the shame that we use to judge ourselves and others - allowing us to see what is most true and freeing us to love ourselves and others without shame.” ~ Dave E. Anderson, www.FreedomLifeConsulting.com

Today is Michelle and my 2nd Anniversary!! So today, in honor of her and the amazing gift she is to me... I will share a story that has been the foundation of our marriage. Many may have heard this story before... but it deserves another hearing.

Fourteen Days after our first email to each other on Match.com, Michelle’s life coach, Jim Spivey, emailed both of us this question: “What is the one thing you would prefer that the other never finds out about you? ... Now that you're clear on what that one thing is, tell each other.”

WHAT? Tell her THAT? Is he crazy? He doesn’t know my secrets... and shames... and I don’t want her to know mine either...at least not NOW. Can I trust her? Will this be too much? How would anyone stay in a relationship knowing all this about the other... especially this early? Maybe I should wait till I really know if she’s “the one”, ...then tell her.

The reason that this was so hard for me, was because I didn’t truly believe in unconditional love and forgiveness from God or people. And therefore, I didn’t believe that anyone could know ALL about me and still be able to see past the ugly shameful things that I’ve done. I thought: If I couldn’t forgive and see past my own stuff, how could anyone else? Understand something... I preached about unconditional love for years as an ordained minister in a large denomination. And because I didn’t really get God’s love for me, I unconscientiously preached a religious message of “conditional love” through performance, judging, earning forgiveness by being “good enough”, legalism, perfectionism and self-righteously watering down the true message of Love and Grace.

So, the very web of lies I so religiously set up for myself was actually the very thing that was entangling me from openly telling my story. (I’ll give you the brief version, and invite anyone to ask for more details in a more personal conversation)

My story was full of shameful experiences that injured my heart, jaded my perspective, and left me with a lot of secret hang-ups. I had a lust addiction. It started when I was molested as a little boy, by a man in the neighborhood, then became sexually active as a teenager, getting involved in pornography, and attending strip clubs while in Bible College, all leading to a devastating lustful addiction with severe consequences, ...while being an addiction counselor of a ministry in Hawaii. Lust took over my life... and became this overwhelming demon that I felt completely trapped by, hidden behind secrecy. The amazing thing was that no one really knew anything was wrong, because I hid behind my mask of “Super Christian & Pastor” (while overwhelmed by guilt and shame and “I should know better”); all the while struggling because I believed it was not safe to share with anyone.

Anyway, all of this was my, “one thing that I would prefer her never finding out about”, and it was HUGE... and even with all my reasoning, fears and religious filters and beliefs... we took the challenge and had THAT conversation the very next weekend.

Michelle listened, asked questions and unconditionally loved me that day. Her forgiveness of my past and belief in me was MORE HUGE than what I believed she or anyone else could know about me and still love me. SHE SHOWED ME UNCONDITIONAL LOVE... and GOD SHOWED UP THROUGH HER... and MY RELIGIOUS WEB BEGAN TO CRUMBLE, as I was beginning to understand that I was SET FREE from the shame of the past, AND the past itself! Michelle was the first person ever to hear my story and she loved me bigger than I thought I deserved.

So, Michelle... my best friend... my soul mate... thank you for your amazing love for me! You are the image of “God’s unconditional love”...that continues to amaze me, even in all the crap that still shows up daily, when I forget the truth of who I AM - to you, to God, to myself and my gift to the world.

“Of course, only God can give people the strange desire to know the whole truth about themselves, and the strength and courage to live wide-open, exposed lives before one another. And how does He do it? How does He slip us this bitter pill, coated with intense desire and determination? Fortunately, the pill is also lavishly coated with the mystery we call love, which is the only thing in heaven or on earth, which can shield us from the horror of knowing what we are really like. That, in fact, is what God's love is: it is His armor, an armor of forgiveness and acceptance that we put on over our corruption, an armor of worth or worthiness that completely covers our own worthlessness. ...Only love can drive out the constant threat of condemnation and rejection that otherwise haunts and spoils all experiences of intimacy. ...We must buy others, in a sense, at the cost of ourselves, at the expense of painful self-disclosure and annihilation, just as Jesus bought us through the agonizing and passionate disclosure of the depths of God's love in the sacrifice of His Own body on the Cross.” ~ Mike Mason, The Mystery of Marriage (...quotes Jim sent as the basis of his challenge)

~ Dave E. Anderson, Life Coach
http://www.freedomlifeconsulting.com/Home.html

Seeing Through the Fog...

2005-11-28T19:00:00.000-06:00

“Love sees through the fog - unveiling the true beauty of a person’s heart and all the mysteries of life itself.” ~ Dave E. Anderson, www.FreedomLifeConsulting.com

On Monday 7:56 AM (2 weeks ago), I went out to my favorite place at the neighborhood lake, to journal. Usually it’s a bright and sunny day, which requires me to set up my chair under a shade tree to keep from getting my head sunburned. (No laughing) That day was completely different than any other day, since coming here. I couldn’t see any of the normal beautiful scenes, like: the ducks swimming by, the variety of colorful flowers, palm trees, the shimmer of the water, the blue sky mixed with clouds and the nice breeze. Even sitting under the shade tree was no good, because of the water dripping off the leaves onto my paper. Why was this morning so different? Because there was a heavy fog, covering all the sights that make this place so beautiful. The fog brought with it a damp, uncomfortable chill, stillness, dingy colorless grey sky, and a dripping wet morning. Which was not the greatest for my journaling... so I thought.

This is what showed up for me...

What is it that you want to show or tell me THIS morning God? This is what I got: When I don’t live by my true self – it’s like I’m in a fog. In a fog, the sight distance is short and not clear, roads are slippery (for a motorcyclists... this means cautious riding), the dampness keeps things from drying out and it feels drab and miserable to be in. Then I remembered when flying above the fog and clouds in a plane. It was so clear, bright, beautiful, and sight is seemingly unlimited.

So, what does that mean for me... stay above the fog? I felt him say, that I must see like I am above the fog – seeing far, clearly and unhindered by fog ...yet while still in the midst of the FOG of life. About then, the fog began to lift just enough for me to make out images that were hidden. A momma duck with about 10 ducks followed her on the other side of the lake... colors started showing up... the trees became clear... site distance was recovered... and even a little blue sky. And then it hit me: All of the life and beauty was there the whole time – I just couldn’t see it. I didn’t recognize the beauty all around me. It was there - but just out of my site and awareness of it.

As I pondered this, I began to think about the beauty of people’s hearts, including my own. I often see through foggy lenses or get focused on my or their fog of false ego, religion, pride, arrogance, performance, judgmentalness, hurt, anger, insecurity and fail to see the true beauty, which is there the whole time... just being hidden by fog. Another thought: Fog doesn’t really shut off sight, it merely reduces how far you can see, and requires me to slow down and focus more closer to the subject I am trying to see. When it comes to people, relationships and their hearts, if I am to see them through eyes of Love... I must risk getting close enough to someone to really discover and know their true self and the beauty that is there – like finding a hidden treasure. I have to lovingly wipe away the fog to focus on what is true, what is hidden, not the fog itself.

So, it all comes down to a personal choice to Love. Unfortunately, I sometimes ignore or just refuse that choice out of anger, judgment, fear, a need to be right, hurt, unreal expectations or just because I am seeing through the FOG of lies about myself or others. All of which is not the ultimate truth of my heart or theirs. Maybe even my awareness level gets foggy on how much I am loved, which would free me to love as an overflow of what I have received. Too often I have made up that I can’t love others, especially those with a lot of fog around them, as if giving love away would leave me empty. Hmmm, something to think about.

So today, I choose to see clearly my circumstances and truly love others and self by seeing what is true and beautiful, even when my natural eyes see... HEAVY FOG.

By Dave E. Anderson, Life Coach
November 28, 2005
www.FreedomLifeConsulting.com

In Response to "RAW Living"

2005-11-17T18:13:00.000-06:00

Wow... I'm almost speechless at the personal messages I have gotten back over the last couple of days. It's taken me until now to just soak in all the amazing stories, and personal "I needed that" / "that's how I feel too" responses and overwhelming support and encourage from my friends and family regarding this message of "RAW Living". I feel SO loved, honored, appreciated and connected by all of you that responded. These last couple of days have been SACRED MOMENTS for me... and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Now I get the beauty and healing power of words spoken honestly, truthfully and in LOVE. You ALL have truly touched my heart.

THIS is what community is all about....and I'm looking forward to more messages flying both ways.

You should have seen Michelle & I sitting on the couch reading all of them. We were crying, at awe, laughing....and feeling God saying to me: "See what happens when you are honest and vulnerable with others and remove your own masks? It gives permission for others to do the same". ....It felt so right... so authentic... so RAW.

Because of such of an overwhelming number of you that wrote me back personal notes...I am struggling as to how to respond quickly to ALL of you that sent me a message. So, for now...let this "generic" message communicate the true heart of what I felt from your responses to me ("Generic" only in that it is being sent to all 364 of you), while I personally respond to each of you after this weekend.

This weekend: One major reason that I can't respond quickly, is because Michelle, Caeden and I will be speaking, or more like: "Having a conversation", on the topic of "Finding your Authentic Life" at a Single's retreat on Friday thru Sunday....and we are preparing for that now. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we share our hearts. Caeden will have the easy part...He just has to show up and BE HIMSELF... which IS "the message" that he will be speaking loud and clear--without saying a word. It's also the message we all will be trying to learn: BE WHO YOU REALLY ARE...YOUR TRUE SELF, your CHILD-OF-GOD SELF.

"But whoever did want him, who believed he was who he claimed and would do what he said, He made to be their true selves, their child-of-God selves." John 1:12, The Message Bible

~ Dave Anderson, www.FreedomLifeConsulting.com

Raw Living - November 15, 2005

2005-11-15T09:36:00.001-06:00

“In order to rest peacefully, sometimes we just have to vomit up what’s not suppose to be there.” ~ Dave Anderson (What my son, Caeden, taught me on day 12 of his life as he slept comfortably on my wife’s shoulder moments after vomiting.)

Today I start a journal that is true of my life’s journey and public for the world to see... even my personal world of friends, family and those I coach. THIS is what I must do to be true to my heart, my calling and my life as it continues to be experienced – told as RAW and in full color. Hold on to your seats... cause this is the open and honest side of me that I have always hidden - for fear of not looking good enough, blaming others for my “crap” (issues), or going against my mask of perfectionism that I wear around people, including myself. I hope you will join me along this journey and give me HONEST feedback... argue with me if that’s what you need to do... ask the personal question of: “Is any personal application for me?” ...or delete the messages and tell me to stop sending them. I am only requesting of YOU to read a few of them... then decide if you would like to keep them coming or not. I hope to hear back from some of you. By the way... I have been saying I wanted to do something like this for more than 18 months... so this is a big day for me.

So, here we go...
Two weekends ago sort of came to a head for me... and something had to give! I faced some ugly feelings that were inside of me that I was ignoring or just acting like they were not there at all, and they were affecting my overall life, perspective and passions as a man, husband, Christian, dad and life coach. I had to get really open and honest about my feelings, and truly listen to my own coaching, to say what’s inside... and quit trying to make my feelings look good or better than they really were.

Over the past few months, I have beat myself up for being so disengaged in some important areas of my life (i.e. my private daily journaling, writing the public “Freedom Life Journals” and life metaphors around my daily experiences and motorcycles, etc.). Feelings were showing up inside of me, like: “What’s wrong with me?”, “Why am I stuck & disengaged?” or “What’s my problem?” among others. They were sapping the very life and purpose out of my heart and leaving me feeling miserable, broken and angry. Hey, I am a life coach – I’m a person that should have it all together, right? But inside I was feeling like a fraud. That’s when on Friday, 10/28/05 my coach, Jim Spivey, came over to visit and meet our 1st born son. (Caeden Jonathan Anderson, who was born Oct. 18, 2005 at 8:43 PM, weighing in at 9 lb. 5 oz.!)

In our conversation some key issues and attitudes of judgment and control, frustration and inner anger became our topic of discussion (not “outer anger”, that would be too HONEST of me). Jim called me on my half-hearted nods of “I get it”. I was listening... but not ready yet to really hear him, but instead, I was going to a place of “I don’t feel like THAT”, hiding, blaming others, and running from owning my true feelings. (Thank you Jim... for loving me enough to take me to the true feelings you saw in me that I needed to face...so I could get them out and see more than what I saw.)

Sunday afternoon, I took my journal and headed off to a neighborhood lake, a quiet place near my house to get really honest with myself and how I felt. It was time for God and I to hash it all out.

Here are some exerts from the lake that Sunday:

“God, what have I forgotten or missing that makes me feel so locked up and NOT feeling free to live the way I know I was meant to live? What’s going on inside of me? What do I genuinely feel right now? (Here’s what came gushing out... Raw but honest): I feel lost, behind, in too much debt, afraid, overwhelmed, loaded down, frustrated, not in a good place, weak, empty, broken, quieted, forsaken, cheated, a fraud, not enough, alone, inadequate, judgmental, selfish, drained, hurting, attacked, human, missing it, mad, angry, repressed, stuck, clipped of my wings, and tired. Ok, the dirty and un-pure water is flushing out, now the clean can flow. (I picture an old rusty water faucet being pried open after years of not being used - rust and dirty water oozing out).

So God, as I sit and listen to you, my heart, my amazing wife and son, my coach, this ministry/calling in its own infancy state, I also feel: Loved, remembered, empowered, awakened, (Now the rusty water was starting to clear up and it become fresh, drinkable and unlimited in supply), birthed, growing, a visionary, stable, hungry, engaged, preparing, ready, fulfilled, helpful to others, strong, a fighter, powerful, able, more than enough, insightful, focused, promised, on track, not alone, surrendered, afraid of only ‘not trying’, pressed but not overwhelmed, pulling through, coming out of debt, getting it, strong, full of life and God’s message, shaken to pieces to be rebuilt, loudly expressed, not forsaken, among a team, learning new attitudes, the real thing, adequate, owning my own life without blame, giving and not taking, being restored, hurting but healing, not a victim, releasing my anger, open and speaking the truth of my feelings without fear, pulling out of being stuck, flinging high, strengthened, and tapped into my source of life - God!”

At this time, I heard the heart of God, my wife and the voice of my coach (Jim) telling me to “write about your experience of feeling stuck about writing”. Even though this scares the crap out of me, I will write about this process, and how it doesn’t have to be a perfect “product”, for it to be read. I will also share my struggles along the way in this journey of surrender (in real time), and because it’s a process... it’s ok to look messy along the way. That, I’m learning from my 12-day-old son (at the initial writing of this & whose story I’ll tell in the near future). In fact, that’s the most honest subject I can write about: The honest true life of a person, who is a husband, dad, brother, son, friend, follower of Christ and a life coach. So, while most people put out their best stuff, you will hear the honest, unpolished, sometimes ugly, yet beautifully growing side of Dave Anderson and my experience of being me... discovering the authentic me!

~ Dave Anderson,
http://www.freedomlifeconsulting.com/Home.html

Dave & Michelle Anderson's Son is Born ...Caeden Jonathan Anderson

2005-11-11T20:43:00.000-06:00

Hello Everyone...Friends and Family...!! We have some very (long overdue) exciting news to share with you.

As proud parents we are happy to announce the birth of our son, Caeden Jonathan Anderson! He has birthed two parents that are in awe of him and all he is teaching us about love, life, and God's timing in all things. He was born on Tuesday, October 18, 2005 at 8:43 p.m. weighing in at 9 lbs. and 5 ozs. and stretching out to 21 inches.

He has beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes and his name means: Caeden -"Wise Warrior", Jonathan -"God's Gracious Gift".

Some of you know that we intended to have a home birth, but God had other plans and we needed some extra help and ended up delivering at West Houston Medical Center after being in labor on and off for 4 days. He was born at the 42 week and one day mark...15 days past the 40 week due date. But according to us, he was right on time. It was quite an amazing and beautiful journey, with a victorious ending; we wouldn't change a thing.

We are thankful for those of you that were there to labor with us and to witness his birth, we could not have done it without you. You all were a special blessing to Dave, Caeden and me: Cathy, Natalie, Connie, Debbie, Kristen (& Dean), Pam, Mom & Dr. Torres. And a special thank you to all of you who were praying for us...your prayers were heard and felt.

We are all adjusting really well. My recovery is a little slower than I would like (4th degree episiotomy), but I am getting better everyday. Caeden sleeps, eats, poops and pees really well (especially when it's my turn to change his diaper). He is a smiley little boy who has a great personality...he is very alert and very "chill". He is now 3 weeks and 3 days old and close to 11 lbs. already.

Dave and I LOVE being Caeden's parents. It is a great honor and privilege to have this little man in our lives and to be his stewards. We are very humbled by this whole event. Thank you Caeden for being here, thank you for your grace and forgiveness as we figure out how to do this thing called "parenting". And a HUGE Thank YOU to God for his love and grace being showered on us. We surrender to it and receive it ALL!! We love you Lord! You are amazing!

We have posted some photos on our website...please check out our gracious gift from God on "The Coaches" page of our website. His picture is under my photo (Michelle) and the link is called Caeden's Photo Album.

We will be updating the photos on a regular basis so please keep checking back for any changes or additions.

We love you all!

Michelle, Dave & Caeden
www.FreedomLifeConsulting.com